“The ‘money talk’ is the most avoided topics for young couples to discuss” says marriage counselor and financial coach Dave Morgan in one of his articles titled: Marriage Counselor or Financial Coach: Which One Do You Need? It comes as a shock to discover that couples can be together for several years and even get married without seriously conversing about their financial trends and well being as a unit.
As young lovers we just fall in to this nonverbal agreement, “he pays the bills and takes me on dates and I occasionally buy him a gift or two on special occasions” says Masego (not her real name) who has been with her boyfriend for 2 years.
Why is it that young couples do not find it important to discuss their finances? What their source of income is? How much they have in real cash? How they spend it to make sure the survive until the next payday? How they plan to save? How they can assist each other? This is a tip of the iceberg of the type of questions a young lady and young man looking to embark on a serious relationship should be able to ask each other.
Baone on the other hand has been with his girlfriend since high school and they have been together for over 5 years. Baone believes he is the provider in the relationship and his girlfriend has no right to know where he gets the money, or how he intends to use it.
It is essential to understand your partner’s financial orientation and spending trends before you can consider making them your life partner and the only way to get a glimpse of who they are in the financial realm the couple needs to have a seat down. Just as it is important to understand your partner’s background and up bringing it is important to understand their financial trends and behavior. This is how some people tie themselves to poverty without even knowing.
According to a new survey by Prof. Ramsey (psychologist) his results show that both high levels of debt and a lack of communication are major causes for the stress and anxiety surrounding household finances. Lack of communication about financial issues between love birds is strenuous on the male counterpart as they feel under pressure to continuously meet the high demands of their partner without fail in most cases without any assistance. On the contrary the female also feels her partner is not spending enough on the relationship and compares him to the top dogs on social media. This breeds more arguments and conflicts in the relationships.
It has been proven that talking about money issues helps couples open up to each other and plan a more engaging future than planning separately. This open communication will also help the couple avoid issues of debt and financial instability that usually lead to anxiety and depression among young lover. Can a finance based pillow talk between couples be Botswana’s way out of the increasing rates of divorce, passion killings and depression cases? Young Batswana couples have to break the silence and take financial communication to another level.
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