On the 30th of June 2019, we asked you guys to take part in a Facebook poll we created. The purpose of the poll was to find out how many people had a father figure present in their lives while growing up. 54% of the audience said their fathers were actively involved while 46% had emotionally unavailable/ absent fathers in their lives. The results are very pleasing because they reflect how many people were fortunate enough to be surrounded and loved by their fathers. This does not mean that those who grew up without their fathers didn’t receive any kind of love at all, because a mother’s love is still the best kind of love. For those who grew up with emotionally unavailable fathers, those whose fathers had passed away and those whose fathers decided that they do not want to be a part of their upbringing, we bring to you a movement that aims to combat fatherlessness.
On the 15th June 2019, Father of The Fatherless 2019 Therapy Sessions was held at Botho University. The name was inspired by the verse on Psalm 68:5 which speaks about God being our source of refuge and playing the role of a father figure to those who come to him as a source of comfort, forgiveness and healing. The workshop aimed at promoting forgiveness, healing, closure and reconciliation. These are promoted in order to help those who grew up without their fathers to forgive them for being completely absent or emotionally unavailable. Being able to forgive allows one to be able to heal from the painful wound caused by one’s father. Healing now opens the door to one being able to find closure, accepting the fact that one grew up without a father/ with an emotionally unavailable father and move on. Reconciliation goes in two ways: reconciliation to God as the father and reconciliation with one’s father if he wants to come back into one’s life and try to fix things.
Most of the time, we tent to forget that fatherlessness is the cause of most social ills that are dominant in the society. Such issues include gender-based violence, passion killing, depression as well as individuals being bitter in life. We are so ignorant of the effects growing up without a father have on individuals. As mentioned in our previous article, men tend to want to show their dominance and masculinity in ways that are dangerous and harmful to others while girls become vulnerable to abuse and engage with older men and are often referred to as having “daddy issues”. The session was also held to help those who grew up without fathers to heal from the situation and not let it affect how they live their lives, how they relate in their current relations and future relations be it sexual relations or any kind of relationship they form.
The response from the public at the time was very huge. It should also be noted that the people who attended the session were very happy with the initiate and content provided as they stated that they learnt a lot. Some of the things learnt being how to communicate one’s issues or problems, especially men and for some, the session helped to explain some of the things they couldn’t explain or account for in their lives such as anger in relationships.
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