I have been spending quite some time with kids of ages between 12 and 17 years old. I have an idea of how they think, what their beliefs are and most importantly, what their minds are curious about especially regarding sex. In my opinion, sex has been demonized to children, adults made them think that it’s something that only grownups can engage in. This is mostly done out of concern for children and rightfully so. But we need to also be practical and realistic about our children and their relationship with sex.
Some people choose not to engage in sex for religious reasons, and others choose to engage in it because their curiosity is just too intense. Social norms have dictated that children should not have sex at a young age, specifically in their teenage years, and rightfully so. This is because within that age group, they’re still very curious, sloppy and most importantly, they do not understand the responsibility that comes with having sex. Everyone has their own definition of morality and their own beliefs when it comes to being sexually active and what it means for them. it is a personal choice and I respect that.
Our parents, however, see sex differently. From my observation and experiences with what parents expect from children regarding them being sexually active, they’d prefer their children to start being sexually active when they’re older and have a better understanding of the act. Therefore, I believe they demonized it so much, by using scare tactics to prevent children from experimenting. This is also influenced by their own sexual experiences. One may argue that this tactic has worked, and some may argue otherwise. To paint a better picture in response to the previous statement, ask yourself, how many young girls drop out of school every year due to teenage pregnancy in Botswana?
BUT HOW CAN WE DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY?
To answer the question above, I say, stop demonizing sex and explain to children what it is, and its implications to give them a better understanding of what it truly is.
The number of teenagers who drop out of school every year should be taken seriously and serve as a wake-up call to say: our current method of doing things isn’t working, then ask ourselves, how can we make the situation better. I believe that we first need to acknowledge everything that’s going on. Acknowledge that our children are sexually active even though we urge them not to engage. Acknowledge that there is an increase in the number of new HIV infections and some young girls go out of their way to have abortions. This reduces the level of denial that people live in and they start seeing things for how they truly and honestly are. After acknowledging and seeing things for how and what they are, we then move on to PAINTING A DIFFERENT PICTURE about sex. Why not tell our students and children that sex is an amazing experience and explain to them what it means to different people? I mean, this way they get a better understanding of what they are dealing with and they make personal decisions based on information that they got first-hand.
At this point, some people may feel like my suggestion would be opening a can of worms, but hold on, there’s more to my suggestion.
After explaining all this, we then move on to teaching them HOW TO HAVE SAFE SEX. This includes teaching both girls and boys how to put on a condom, telling them of the many contraceptives they can use to prevent pregnancy and most importantly, cementing on the implications of having unprotected sex as we have been doing. From interacting with children, I find that hearing all this from someone who is younger and relate-able
is mostly preferred by them because they get to be free and ask all the questions, they have with regards to sex and sexuality. I had a young boy ask me, what having sex is like and I was very honest with him and told him that sex is amazing and most enjoyable when done with the right person and someone you truly care for because we don’t want them to go around having sex with just everyone.
In conclusion, let’s stop being in denial and demonizing sex for children. Let’s change the way we deliver information and our approach to sex education. And most importantly, let us teach children about the many ways they can prevent pregnancy and reduce their chances of contracting sexually transmitted infections.
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